Dear Diary.... ♥

10:45 PM

I'm so so so so sorry for not updating for like donkey centuries. Cos i seriously don't know what to bitch in here. Life's been a bitch for me. I don't want my blog to be EMO. That's why i refrain from blogging for this period of time.

Sorry darlings. Life's ain't no better like SHITEXZS for me now. But i'm so thankful and glad i have my close peeps with me when i'm facing the down part.

Loves Wendee, Reg, Linda, Josephine, Bernice, Shadow, Kenny, and the rest of GNs (never fail to make me laugh) and also those who encouraged me alot, you guys know who you are.

I rather not to think of it. Cos everytime i do so, it'll only breaks my heart even more. People, jio me out more often please. I need to be out, i don't wish to stay at home.

The old Joy, the always laughing, always happy-go-lucky and cheerful Joy, will be back soon. Hopefully.

Unwilling to leave, unable to stay.
Pls understand that, i really love you.

My heart is crying, it's cracking.

9:51 AM

Ugh, can't wait to take back my handphone tomorrow! But it's gonna be reformatted. Sigh....... Nonetheless, i can still be able to take pictures luh. :D

Last sunday, woke up very early in the morning and headed down to kallang. Super Sprint 3rd race. Reached there, it was effing hot. Watched many many many cars raced and all. Darling's previous car 3096 was also there to race. Weather was really unbearable, luckily ST got aircon tent. Haha, rested there. Met my dalin there too! SO HAPPYYYYY! Hug her so tight. =)

Oh yea, the Auto Styling car competition this time round has many cute cars luh! Theres doraemon, super mario, hello kitty even. >_< .
Monday, disasterous. School reopened. I don't look forward to it at all. But still, i managed to wake up early and meet my darling girls Jo, Syaza and Wanie. Missed them so much. New class, what can i say? Feeling awkward at first. I missed my W14A alot. Hopefully this new class gets better and better soon. :)

Today, the moment i woke up, i head felt like its splitting. Couldn't take it, and i headed back to sleep. Didn't attend school hence. But afternoon, met my Jo and went to bugis. I spent like nobody's business again. -.- I feel so broke now. Super.......... I spent $130 over.

1. LANCOME white volumizing Mascara! (Yayyyyy!)
2. Grey skinny jeans.
3. Lacey top.
4. Bubbly off-shoulder top.
5. Eyelash curler.

Ugh, i'm so broke now! Someone please control me. :(
.

I don't have much pics to upload now. So, koped from da's blog. The day at kallang. =)
.

inside ST tent resting. [i look like a dumbo here. -.-]

dada and joy at kallang. weather soo hot!

dada's baobei, taken by her, before racing.

12:14 PM

P.S: My blog's undergoing a teeny-weeny of a dull season now. But don't worry, i'll liven it up soon. Real soon i promise. I think next week. :)

Back, still the same old bit.

I don't feel good. It seems like going for the stayover last week caused me to have missed out so much with my friends and now that school is reopening. I don't know why but feel a little-bit left out, maybe it's because i haven't caught up with them since working at Comex 2007 till now.

And they've been lingering in my mind for the past few days. Seriously i miss them.

And my handphone's down. Couldn't operate at all, and it's 'hospitalised' now at the Service Centre. Means i can't take pictures for the time being. :(

School's reopening. I dread thinking of that. Cos it's time for me to buck up. Look at the state of my life now. Down right? Yeah i know.

I can't help, but to feel so empty.
I can't help, but to admit that the world and reality has changed.
I can't help, but to say that i can't find any comfort.
I can't help, but to helplessly say that i miss you.
I can't help, but to ask, Where Are You?

10:03 AM

Ugh shit. I don't know why, it's just so random, that my blogging laziness era is back again.

Zz. I know.

Past few days weren't that fantastic for me anymore. Not anymore, when the truth pops out to me. God has eyes, seriously i believe now. I got so f-up, hurt, disappointed, whatever shit. I feel so speechless now. I don't know how to describe how i'm feeling anymore. But it's definately not something pleasing to announce.

I feel so broken up, so painful, so empty and lost now. Now that i doubt my own ability and my own strength. I can't find comfort in anything else anymore. Like now, i'm all numb.

I've been trying to run away, i know i shouldn't. But maybe thats my only alternative to drown my sorrows. Yes, by drinking. I'm sorry to make my peeps worry and hurt. But i seriously don't know what else to do besides that. Thanks Bernice and Linda darlings for being there for me when i needed a shoulder most.

I need you, but do you?

Anyway, i'm going for a stayover for 1 week plus. I'll try to blog. Last but not least, I'M MISSING MY MOM AND SIS VERY MUCH. :( I can never imagine not seeing them for 1 week. I realised how much they meant to me.
.

MP besty is my loveeee! =)

besty and me during work at Comex.

me and darling bernice at TCSS Pub.

12:04 PM

A girl asked a guy if he thought she was pretty, he said...no.
She asked him if he would want to be with her forever, and he said no.
She then asked him if she were to leave would he cry, and once again he replied with a no.
She had heard enough.
As she walked away, tears streaming down her face the boy grabbed her arm and said....
You're not pretty you're beautiful.
I dont want to be with you forever. I NEED to be with you forever.
And I wouldnt cry if you walked away...I'd die...

I saw this short and sweet paragraph from my honey Michelle's blog. I'm filled with emotions when i just read that.

Anyway, i'm sorry for not updating again, cos i've been working for Comex show for the past 4 days. Fucking tired and i don't even have enough sleep. Spent my 4 lovely days with my dearest WendeeeeToh MP and peeps like kenny, melly, dick, cow, daryl etc. Super funnehhhhhhh! =p

Working for Comex kills. The crowd kills even more. Fuck i hate those, looked like sardine fishes you know. -.- And i've to entertain them with my weary fake smile and please them. Wowwwww. Nonetheless, chiong sales ah! Hope commission and pay will be high. Heh.

Certain good things left in my aching heart can only be meant to be reminisced. Cos i know, i couldn't deny the fact that things changes. Now, i'm depriving.

I merely wanted to be your support, but you never gave me a chance to. How i wish...............