Dear Diary.... ♥

10:56 PM

/edited.

DAMN ALL THESE.

Ooo i love this song i've uploaded on my blog. Heard it first few times only and i fell deeply in love with it already!! Cos it's..... :P

Sick sick today. Never go school. I officially lost my voice already. Now i sound like a man! Wth. Coughing non stop. Feel like going to RC later again. =x

Ooo.. Simply can't wait for this lovely thursday to come! Aaahhhh.. Can't wait can't wait! :D:D

9:32 AM

Argh! Super busy nowadays! I seriously miss using my lappy for hours.

Last friday was the precious late night out with my dada. Met her at thomson prata for dinner and headed to pub for drink. Again, ppl treat us drink. Haha. Then after that midnight went to 925 eat supper dim sum and headed home already. Reached home at 2plus am and i've to start work the next day morning. -.-

First day of work! Super nervous and panicky. I was all alone. So afraid they won't talk to me and stuffs. But ok lah, they're really funny and friendly people! Got to know them so well now. Lovely colleagues i've got! Working at Raoul, Raffles City, abit stress cos the boutique requires alot of good performance.

Second day of work, even more funnnn! Laughed super alot i tell you. Esp got Farhan. He's the first and only guy i ever met, the MOST FUNNY GUY I'VE EVER MET IN MY LIFE. He apparently made me laughed till i went so weak. -.-

But, one thing's that making me cry is my high heels at work! I swear i've never been through such terrible pain on my feet before. I've been wearing heels for so long, first time pain until my legs felt like it's shrinking. So painful till i can't even walk, cos it's those pointed-end heels. :(

Today, I LOVE TODAY! :D But in the morning i went for exams. 6.45am woke up and headed to sec sch. Eng paper wasn't that tough. Quite smoothly done! Overall, quite good! Heh. After exam, met oinkoink for lunch and walk walk at orchard. Thanks oink for acc-ing me. :DThen caught the movie Halloween. Nice showww! Rating: 4/5 (It's M18 thou, quite gruesome and nudity.) After show we headed to Raoul find colleagues slack.

Late evening went to bernice house. Slack, watch tv. Bernice wants me to take pictures with her, turned out sooo funny. Omg. Both of us laughed till so 'nua'. Hahaha~ Then went bowling tgt too. And i'm home now.

TOMORROW SCHOOL. Zzz. I haven't been sleeping enough for 4 days already. Congrats me, for being a serious panda now.

Too little too late...

12:09 AM

I had nightmare last night, yet again. (The same old kind of nightmare) So scary so scary. I woke up, sweating and almost burst into tears. For one moment i thought it was really true. I can't imagine that....

Are dreams really the opposite of reality life? If so, i really wished it will never ever happen. I fear, i really fear.....

Ugh, it feels sooooo sucky to be broke! Really shit man. I've never been so broke before. What-the-hell. :(

Now all i can do i just to drool and imagine over the things that i wanna get so badly. Ugh! I've to work work work work very hard from now on. Sigh.

Saying about getting my desired things that i want, a new handphone is part of my wantlist. I feel like changing handphone leh. But i'm not confirmed about it yet. Hmmmm, cos i saw this Samsung phone, soo beautiful! But Samsung.. i don't really prefer leh. I only like the design! I got so tempted because pig has this phone too! Ugh soo tempting. :(

Wanna see how it looks like?

Looked soo beautiful right?! Ohmy ohmy, somemore it's REDD!

So slim too. Red is soo love lah. >.<

But pig's phone is not red one thou, but black. But still very nice okay! I still considering. When i have money... Ugh. Hate the feeling of being broke! I HATE IT! Feel so lousy now.

Today is friday, which means, weekend night! At night can go out lo. Yayyyy. :P Can't wait to meet my dalin. -Jumps and hops around- Shall update more when i'm back.

7:38 AM

Today's post is gonna be very interesting! :D

Cos..... Joy bakes cookies yesterday!! Yummy yum yums.

Baked peanut-butter with chocolate cookies. First time turned out so crunchy and yummy. Thanks my babe for helping me out too. Hugs. Oooo! Haha. Pics up again yay.

Life is unpredictable with many new surprises. :)
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Was walking around the supermarket and saw these cute lil pumpkins! >.<

My babe and me! :D

Getting ready for baking lo!

Before baking, eat icecream cake first. Haha~ :P

Getting ingredients ready..

Mix mix mix!!

Start baking it in oven already!

Chef Joy!? Hahaha.

After 2 hours... Tadaaaa! :D Look yummy?

Wheeeee~

Rest rest. So tired.

6:03 AM

Wooo... Joy is a good girl today! :)

Why?
Because i went home straight after school today! (Lol i know it's sounds a lil stupid) But it's sooo rare for me to go home straight after school luh! I'd always have something on everyday for sure, but today, i decided to give myself a rest. And so, came home and took a nappy.

Oh yea, finally changed my blog song already. Previous song made my blog sounded so emo. -.- Alright so now, Justin Timberlake's new song!

As for yesterday, think of it just makes me smile so much till now. Sweet~ I shan't say much. :P

My eyebags are really getting more and more horrendous. Masks don't really help me! Hurhur, any kind souls please tell me how to ease my dark eyebags? I look so ugly with those. :(

Tmr early early morning gonna go have breakfast with pig before gg sch. So i gotta sleep now. Or else i'd surely can't wake up and will be late again. -.- Byeeee!

Changing... changing....

9:40 PM

I got so drunked yesterday night, the kicks only came when i reached home. Zz wth. Slept at like 3am, and forced myself to get up to school today. (!!%$##^#@!)

Don't know whether should i go k-session with the usual gang or go meet pigpig after school. Ugh~

As promised, pictures from batam are up! :)

(Damn alot can, took me 1 hour to upload all. -.-)

Early in the morning 6am plus when the sky is still dark...

Reached batam, in bus!

Reached hotel~ Nice nice!

Toilet also nice. =p

Sister's big day~

All prepared to go for shopping already. :D

In the middle of the streets. So hot and sunny.

Meimei and me at relative's house.

Dinner at a seafood restaurant. Cut cake time!

Smile here, my little princess! =)

Dad bought firecrackers. Those firecrackers there are different from SG. They're real ones, looked like fireworks in the sky. Beautiful~ :))

Next morning....

American breakfast. Yums.

Oh yea, i made this pancake MYSELF! Yesyes i cooked it myself cos their food are self-service and self-cooked. Pancake turns out yummy! Prouds* Haha. =p

Dress till very casual cos i just woke up. (w/o make up at all!)

Nice scenery.

One thing i love about the 5-star hotel here.... Indoor swimming. :D

No need to get exposed under the sun!

Cousin~

Relaxing. =))

JACUZZI! ALL BY MYSELF! SO SHIOK! :D:D

Then suana.....!! Yay.

My vain little cousin. Haha.

In the ferry going back already.. :(

At the top of the ferry!

Breeze and scenery sooo nice. :)

But wind too big already~ Lol.

That's all folks!

11:28 AM

I'm back from batam trip already! Enjoyment to the max. :)

I seriously feel so relaxed there, as thou i could forget everything and just enjoy. Ate alot, shopping (that's of course one!), pampering myself, swimming, suana, spa, jacuzzi. Oooo.. How better can life like this be? Aww. >.< !!

Of course, i took many pics to show you guys. Shall upload them tomorrow alright. I just reached home now only, and it's 2.05am already, and theres SCHOOL tomorrow. See how i'm gonna 'survive' tomorrow morning.

Reached singapore in the evening and went home to rest awhile. Then bernice asked me out for movie. Caught The Last Breath at bishan J8. Omg pleaseeee people, DONT GO AND WATCH. It's a total waste of money seriously. None of us understand a single thang from that movie. -.- Disasterous~

After movie went to Upp thomson prata for dinner-cum-supper. Standard one~ Haha. Then decided to go for a drink at TCSS pub. It's been quite a while since i've last drank again. =))

And so, initially we only ordered a jub of Vodka Ribena and we finished it off. Sang, and played dice games. Then slowly, the boss and the bartender came to talk to us. The boss kept talking to me then kept saying i looked and sounded like some celebrity. -.- I think he's really drunk. Even bernice thinks so. LOL.

Then he treated us with another glass of Brandy. And so we drank. Then, sang awhile more, the bartender joined. Then talked and self-intro to me, then he treated us drink Cordon Blue Martell for another 2 glasses. ~_~ Drink until i seh seh and my face turned red red. Ugh. And tt bartender, Jasper, wants to send us home but we left ourselves alr. Ahaha.

Ugh i'm feeling like shit now. Surprisingly i can still blog before i sleep uh? Aha, alright off to bed! *Prays hard i can wake up tomorrow*

10:30 AM

I'm feeling very lousy right now.

For the first time i feel like my heart is shrinking. So painful......

Really.

11:10 PM

*Pictures up!*

In school now...
Today i was in the nick of time to reach school for UT test. Phew!

Yesterday did a little shopping spree in bugis, and bought a black bling cap and a long straight pants for new work. :D

Anyways, gooood news for me! Very elated and happy. Because i've finally found a stable part-time job. Will be starting work next saturday, at Raoul boutique. Abit stress and nervous thou. Gotta dress smartly and make-up is important. Ooo.

And i'm working together with my idarhhhhhhh! :D Love her nah!

So, every weekends i'll be working at RC at the new Raoul boutique, singapore's biggest Raoul store. :)

Yesterday night, i couldn't sleep at all. Due to some stupid drama-rama stuffs AGAIN. Really hate it. Talked on the phone.. Tossed on the bed. End up i managed to sleep at 4am, and woke up at 8am for test. And now i'm like a living-dead zombie now. How great. -.-

Going for movie again later after school! Cos i got free GV movie tickets. =p
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The main lead of tt night... Mr kokhao's bday! :))

Group photo of us!

On the way going to eat sushi lo~

Showing off my new cappie. =p

Pics taken by my naughty darh. -.-

Narcissist joy~

I learn alot now.

10:33 AM

Alright alright, a super-duper quick post before i sleep. I ain't supposed to blog now, cos it's already like 1.30am and i've just reached home.

Well wells, predicted i'll be late tomorrow again already. So, decided to blog before i topple back on my bed with mianyangggg. :)

Today today, quite alot of say. UT test wasn't well done. Shall not further elaborate it. Did work and stuffs, after that dad came to fetch me home to get myself changed. Then headed down to AMK Hub again (-.-"), to have lunch. Ichiban sushi! It's been ages since i've last enjoyed Jap foood! Thumbs up, ended up with a big round stomach. Great yea. -.-

Then Bernice called, and met up with her. Ended up at her place to accompany her till night.. So tired. And i rested awhile. It's been so long since i've last slept on the bed, with that familiar smell, belonging to me. Aunty saw me, and she was so shocked and happy. Oooo.. me too. =) Miss aunty alot alot.

She said yesterday she and uncle was like talking about me, why i haven't been to their place for quite long already. I didn't know how to reply and i just smiled.. I really miss aunty and MILO mimi alot alot!! Sigh.

Chatted and all, and aunty gave me a pair of shades and a black top. Haha so cute~ Thanks aunty! *Hug* Bernice got one too. Haha.

Stayed till about 9plus then left back to woodlands civic centre joined the gang for k-session. Kok's 19th bday today. Hong, po, nen, kok, shirley, summer, henry, weihai, kel, kuanwei were there too. Big room. Sang sang sang all the way till about 12am like that? Then kok, shir and me took hong's ride.

Sent shirley home first, and we had difficulties getting out of jurong back to woodlands. Haha omg so funny in the car. Can't stand tt Mr hong. -.-

Thanks uh hong, for ur 'dino' seat for me. -.- Haha! But nevertheless, thanks for the ride home bro! ;)

Home nowwwwwwww. Tomorrow Raoul's interview after school! Pray hard pleaseeeee. :(

Pictures as usual, tomorrow shall post. 晚安!!

9:47 AM

Dreadful school again today. I went school at like 10.45am. -.-
Time for self-reflection.

There's nothing much for me to blog in school. Except that those malay guys in class brought many snacks for our class cos it's their Hari Raya. So sweet of them! Munch munch all the way in class. Hahah.

After school went AMK Hub and watched Resident Evil. Rather gruesome, but nice show. Thrilling! Ratings: 3.5/5. Thanks for lending your comfy jacket! :))

UT test tomorrow............. -.- Sleeping time now. Tomorrow after school celebrating Kokhao bday!! K-session yay. They wanna drink at night, not sure whether i can make it, cos theres school the next day. Dread! Alright till here.

I seriously believe in karma.
I believe in RETRIBUTION.
God has eyes to see...
..
Pics previously at the jetty night...

lonely and dark jetty...

don't know why i look like this. -.-

11:37 AM

Maybe i'll consider about the iGlamours competition. Maybe.

Today's 13th Oct. Which marks the 8th month.

I went down to ECP jetty, sat there for the whole night, looking at the darkened sky with shimmering stars. Sea breeze is simply so nice, so peaceful. Finally, left at about 1am plus.

Only he and i knows our secret about the jetty....

Took a few pics at the jetty. Will post it up tomorrow. My cramp is hurting me till i can't sit straight anymore.

Maybe i should slowly begin to accept...... :)
Good night earthlings.

11:37 AM

Today, i headed down to bugis with my dalin.... And i went to GuanYin temple, for the first time. Cos people who know me, knows that i don't pray there. But, i went today. I can't explain myself either.

At first, i stood there outside myself at the entrance. I looked in, and just prayed outside. Prayed for him, studies and family. Then, a thought flashed pass my mind, to get my answers from my prayers. So, i went in and knelt down to ask for guidance and interpretation.

Interpretation was good as the fortune said, & this was what i got:
>"An unsheathed sword will be bright if it's sheath is clean. A wise man can see its beauty and began to appreciate it. In time, those around will do likewise. One is appreciated even from afar. A benefactor comes along to teach. Future dealings lead to success."

Will i really be appreciated in the end?

Past few days, i've been trying very hard to get myself interactive and distracted.
> Keep going out and going out and going outtttttt.

But i realised, i don't feel right, i don't enjoy at all. I just feel so amiss. When i'm out, i just wanna go home cos i'm so tired & i miss mommy and sis alot. When i'm home, i just wanna go out. How contradicting.

School's sent me letter. How ~~great.~~

I really don't know what has became of me. Like all of a sudden i've lost all my motivation. Lost motivation to carry on my daily life. I don't have to strength to do anything at all. I don't wish to, even.

And i keep feeling soooooo sleepy and tired. Even when i sleep less, or over-sleeps. I still feel so lerthagic. If only i could, i'd wish to sleep, and never to wake up anym. I don't wish to face this world, without motivation. Cos it's so meaningless.

I wanna cry, but tears just don't fall out. I don't cry, but my heart is aching so much. WTH IS WRONG WITH ME CAN ANYONE TELL ME?! ^$^$&$%!@!

I'm sorry i'm just not myself today, perhaps. I think this post is solely a post for my venting-anger-or-whatsoever.

I'm off to sleep now. I'm really very very sleepy & tired. *HUGGING MIANYANG SO TIGHTLY*
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drink drink drinking~

wear his mommy gave me de watch today. loving it. thanks aunty once again~ =)

mianyang hiding under my blanket. cute?

Hug so tight and sleep everyday...

9:07 PM

Ying's BBQ at Braddel View, Ivan's house there...

Loads of food to eat! *bloated* Oh yea, made new friends there too. Hehe. =)

Ivan and Bernice. Sweet!

Before blow cake!

Group photo. Happy bday girl~ :)

I'm supposed to like head down to BHI advertising modelling agency today for interview and casting and i guess i'm not going alr. :( Afraid of risks. Hmmm, don't know how!

And i just got approached by iGlamours to participate in Miss Singapore Tourism Queen Intercontiental World. Dang~ I think my Wendee Toh MP is gonna laugh at me right for sure. -.- Hahaha. Ugh, haven't discussed with friends or family yet! And i'm not sure whether is it reliable.

Zzz, school's dull and boring today. I wasn't late today miraculously! Cos i couldn't sleep well, was thinking and thinking of many stuffs. Later evening meeting mommy out. Ooo, i'm loving mommy more. :D

Pictures up soooon again yo.

1:41 AM

Oooo.. I didn't go to school today. Still sick. :(

Woke up a couple of times cos i really felt very uncomfortable. Vomitted a few times and my nose's blocked till i can't even breathe. And my throat's sooo dry...

Wellwell, slept throughout the whole afternoon and Wendy called to disturb my sleep! Aha no lah, she called and told me that i'm in for a job! Woooo yay very happy. Hopefully i'm really in for sure. I need money so badly. Part time job at Forever 21, here i come! :)

Feeling better now, but throat still hurts alot. And i need to prepare to go for Bernice's birthday alr. Tell me how to eat those good bbq foods later? *Frowns* And my dalin also can't make it cos dalin is sick too. Ohnono~ Heart pain and sayang. :(

Alright, shall update more about tonight.

Y Always, eternity.

8:21 AM

Damnit i'm very pissed with blogger now. Connection SUCKS and i took 3 times to reload all the pics. Super angry!

I've realised that i have really been neglecting my poooor baby blog for ages. :( All thanks to my selfishness and laziness. Forgive me will you, my dear readers? I promise to update more often than before alright.

Oooh yes, a good news to myself. I've lost a little weight already! Weeeee. Cos i'm not sure either, i haven't been having regular appetites recently. Maybe that's the cause of it? Hmmm.

Last friday, Hey gorgeous event came to our school. Searching for hunks and babes! Heheh and many fun things happened. After school, my Wendee, Colleen, Kenny, Cow and Lucas came to RP to support hunks and babes too. Went town with them after that, laughed like crazy with them. Super retarded~ Daryl came over to join after that too. :)
.

Dasmond koh, Ben and Fiona xie.

Special guest also.. Milubing. =)

Fiona xie and me sitting on the stage. She's drop dead gorgeous!

The bunch of us.

My girls! :D

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*P.s: I did take pictures with Milubing too. Just that i feel that i look ugly and fat in it so i didn't post it up. So, only mend for myself. =p*

As for today, it's Monday. As usual, Monday blues. :(
Still a long long way to go for this week. Boohoohoos. School today, again, i was late. I'm always late. Sigh. And after school met my darling Regge and Raymond to bugis. She really laughs soooo loudly you know, in public. I don't know how to handle my darling... -.- Machiam i do every action she laughs. Omg~ Then after tt, met b awhile.

Shopped and bought present for Bernice (His sis). It's her birthday tomorrow and celebration bbq tomorrow! Can't wait. =)

Today's been raining the whole day. 我身病了！感冒，喉咙痛.. :(

Life has to go on, after meeting my girl Regge, i realised i really love her loads! And i shall try to be happy i promise.

And after leading this period of life, i realised the importance of my family. Don't know why, whenever i'm out in school or what, i'll always miss my mommy alot. Would come back early to acc her and sis at night. Kinship is always with u, most dearest most closest to you. Y

Yes, now i'm feeling very very terrible now. My nose is sneezing till it's dropping now, and my throat hurts. I'm very sick. Feeling so cold~ Going off to bed now. There's still school tomorrow. *Hugging our mianyang and sleep* Nights.

True love is not how you forgive, but how you forget, not what you see but what you feel, not how you listen but how you understand. Y

9:25 PM

My love, i really miss you alot......